Varför jag älskade The Wonder Spot av Melissa Bank, del 1

Everything this afternoon calls forth my my faults and flaws, all the reasons why this man I want doesn't want me, and those reasons call up more reasons.
When Matthew and Dena go swimming in the lake, I ask myself why I've never learned to swim or skate or draw or sing or play the piano. I'm lazy; I lack discipline; I have no patience. I can't think of a single skill I've mastered or a single talent I have. I barely have a job, let alone a career.
When Dena walks along the shore in her black slippers, seeming not to care how she looks, I think I care too much, and I'm not pretty enough.
When she lies down and picks up her book on Robert Moses and New York, I realize that I don't know anything about the history of New York or the history of the United States or the history of anywhere, modern or ancient; I have no grasp of geography; I don't even really know what physics is. All this contributes to my overall lack of substence.